Stop Judging

I just read a very interesting article on Yahoo! News.  (That, in itself, is quite shocking.)  Of course, it is brought to you by ABC News and Christiane Amanpour.  The article is called "What American Parents Need to Do Better: Lessons from The Rest of The World."  Here is the link: Read it Here

It talks about how the majority of American parents think they do a very good job or better parenting/raising their children.  It then goes into some of the differences in parenting there are in certain countries versus America and what that means.

One of the situations is of a kindergarten child in a German forest, whittling on a stick with a knife.  Okay, before I go into ALL the things, we, as Americans, would see wrong with this picture, the article ONLY mentions how most people would have a problem with the kid having a stick.  (WTH?!)  Stating that, “He had been taught how to do it safely,” she said. “Meanwhile, a lot of children in the U.S. are not even allowed to pick up a stick at the school playground because it might hurt someone.”

Okay, first of all: a kindergarten child is usually 5 or 6 and s/he is alone in a forest.  Not going to happen in America this day and age.

And next: with a knife.  Yeah, right.  Forget about the stick!  

Do not get me wrong, I, personally, don't see too much wrong with this picture --- when I think about my upraising.  I grew up surrounded by woods and was allowed to roam around and explore.  Not with a knife but my brother was in the cub scouts and did learn how to whittle/make a spear (I have my doubts they still do that nowadays) and we did not cut off any fingers or hurt any one.  

My point is: thanks to the media and the overabundance of it's accessibility, children in America can no longer be children.  Parents and Grandparents are now PARANOID.  It's an epidemic.

Case in point: I took my 4 year old son to the park the other day.  We went with 2 other friends so there were a total of 3 mom's there and 3 boys.  The boys had their big wheels and the mom's had their running shoes on.  This park has a really nice paved walking path that goes around a huge soccer field.  We've been here before so the boys know the area pretty well.  

Just like the last time we were there, my son, Mr. Super Fast, takes OFF on his big wheel, in the opposite direction of the way the rest of us were going.  Did I panic?  No.  I told him to keep going, that we'd meet up with him towards the middle because we were going the other way.  He was like, "Okay!"  And he happily peddled away.  Was I freaking out?  No.  Was he freaking out?  No.  No big deal.  I can hear him peddling away - I seriously have super sonic hearing since my sight is about nil. 

Anyways, we are barely 5 minutes into the walk when I hear his big wheel coming back towards us and some lady screaming, "Is this your kid?!"  I'm like, "YES!"  Then she yells at me,"He could've been taken!"  

Seriously?!  Let me tell you what my first thought was; the first thing I totally wanted to yell at this stranger: "Are you offering?!"    But I didn't.  I bit my tongue.  I looked at my friend and was like, "Is this lady for real?"

I just shrugged my shoulders, shook my head and started walking towards my poor child who looked terrified.  Then this lady huffed, "Well I never!"  

Neither have I lady, neither have I. 

She may have thought she had my son's best interest at heart but honestly, all she did was scare the daylights out of him.  THEY stopped HIM.  He was fine, just peddling away to meet up with his mom and his friends.  THEY scared HIM.  HE knows better.  I trust HIM.  

Call me what you want.  I will not hover over my son.  I know that the world has changed, that some people are insane and do crazy stupid things.  But if I teach my son to live in fear of everybody, and in fear of this world, then what kind of man am I raising?  Not the one I want to hand off to a future wife, to a future WORLD.

How are we going to be the CHANGE if we can't stop living with our heads in the ground and in FEAR of the people that are making us afraid to LIVE LIFE?  When did we become the home of weak and scared?  I won't stand for it.  

You cannot raise an independent, strong, determined and intelligent child if you hover and wrap them in a bubble.  Americans think they know everything... but we really could learn A LOT from the rest of this world and how they raise their children.  Take a parenting page from someone else and be willing to cut that umbilical cord before it strangles you.

Counting it all joy,

Angela

Fear and Doubt - Happy Mom's Day

Fear and doubt.  As a mom, I have been overwhelmed by both as I try and raise up my son to the best of my ability.  

When he was a baby, crying and in need of something - food, a changing, cuddles - what?  At first I had no clue.  It took time and patience to figure it out.  Some days, some nights, I lacked so much.  I was tired and cranky and I felt so unworthy of having this precious boy in my life.  But God had me.  He knew I'd "get it."  He blessed me with this child, didn't He?  

As he grew up and started doing more for himself, I had to learn to give him his space to explore and learn on his own.  I had to let him figure things out and not do for him.  I had to not compare him to other children and where they were in comparison to where he was.

I had to not doubt my abilities as a mom.  Even when he throws a fit that makes me lose all reasoning.  When I just can't handle the whining anymore.  When I stop being in control.  When I take everything that all those "other mom's" told me I should do and just throw it out the window.... I cannot doubt my abilities as HIS MOM.  

I have learned that I am going to lose control sometimes.  But I will not let that loss control me or take over. And I always - ALWAYS - apologize to my son.  

I have learned that no matter what you read, hear, learn, etc. - you have to do things YOUR way.  They have to work for YOUR family.  Just because it worked for them, doesn't mean it is going to have the same outcome for you.  And if it doesn't, don't be disappointed.  Move on.  Let it go.  You and your family are different.  It's okay.  God made you that way.

I have learned that my son is not the only crazy, obnoxious, out of control child out there... but man does it feel like it - because he is mine.  If I didn't care, I wouldn't notice.  But I DO care.  So don't judge me or my child.  Don't offer advice.  Don't give me "that look."  Don't talk bad about me behind my back.  Support me.  Help me when needed.  Encourage.  Because you know what?  It may be you some day.  Your child now may be an excellent listener but the next one may ignore you until you can't see straight.  

My son has run off on me a few times.  It makes me furious.  And terrified.  And frustrated.  It is such a mixed emotion for me because I know that he just wants to be independent and he thinks he'll be fine.  He doesn't grasp the concept that there are people out there that could hurt him, that he could get lost, that I could lose him.  In the few times that he has run off, only a handful of adults have been kind enough to either try to stop him or have actually stopped him for me.  Why is that?  Are you afraid to stop another adult's child that is obviously running off?  You hear the parent yelling for them and they are bolting towards you?  Why don't you try and help?  To the people who helped, I am so grateful.  To the others, next time, take the chance and just try and help.  Seriously.

I have learned that other mom friends are a GODSEND.  Especially when they are real, honest, sincere and love your child, too.  They are not easy to find.  When  you find one, two, four, six... hold on to them tightly! They will make your life a lot easier.  When you have another woman, a mom, who can understand your need to talk about potty training (poop, pee!) and the frustration of kids who have selective hearing but also know when it is time to just ogle some hunky men on the big screen (hello Channing Tatum... how are you?) or have a glass of wine and just LAUGH.... wow.  Life just gets less stressful.

Mother's Day is tomorrow.  Another "Hallmark Holiday."  But also a great reminder to tell your Mom, the one who birthed you, wiped your butt, cuddled you, kissed your boo-boo's, played with you, spanked you, cooked for you, taught you so many things, who loves you unconditionally, who wanted to (wants to) ship you to Abu Dhabi, who wants to never say goodbye, who loves you to the moon and back, who read to you, who drove you all over creation, who wiped away your tears, who laughed with you, who cried with you, who fought for you, who fights for you, who would move heaven and earth for you - that you LOVE her and are grateful for her.

She isn't perfect.  She is far from a saint.  She probably threatened to kill you, ship you off, or begged you to call social services on her (so she'd finally get a vacation)!  But no matter what she says, she loves you and chances are, she'd do it again.  

By God's grace, I have made it my son's 4 years and almost 2 months.  I am thankful.  Some days I have no idea how he will ever see 5, but then he shakes his booty and tells me he loves me and every annoying, aggravating thing he has done melts away and I can't help but smile and be SO grateful.  I love him.  To the moon and back.  To infinity and beyond.  Forever and ever.

I love you, too, Mom.  Sorry for all the crazy teen-aged angst.  (Thank God I didn't have a daughter!)

Counting it all joy,

Angela

A Day In The Life...

Of me.

Let me allow you a sneak peek into my life.  

This morning I got up at 8:30 - be jealous for about 2 minutes Mommy's.  I was able to take a shower and get dressed before my darling son woke up.  My "plan" for the morning was to eat breakfast and get to the Y for a quick workout.  

But I have a 4-year old.  Just one.  Not a gaggle of children.  Not a baby.  Not a baby AND a pre-schooler.  No, just one darling, rambunctious, sweet, terrorizing little 4 year old boy.  

I tell him we are off to the Y this morning - time to get up, get dressed and eat some breakfast!  He had other plans.  His plans included no clothes.  He was happy to get up and take off his pajamas.  But the clothes all laid out for him in the living room, he wanted nothing to do with them.  So for at least 45 minutes he ran around the house naked.  SIGH.  

Things are NEVER done in mommy's time.  Who am I kidding?  He ate breakfast naked.  He watched t.v. naked.  He played naked.  He wallowed on the couch naked.  It was Naked-Fest 2013 in my living room.  I just wanted to get to the Y and work.out.  What.the.heck.

Then I needed to get our cable boxed exchanged.  You would think I was taking him to get shots.  Good gracious.  He was furious that we were not going straight home.  No passing go, no collecting $100, nothing.  He wanted to go home.  (When does my child EVER want to go home?!)  For the next 25 minutes, driving to the cable store, all I heard was complaints.  Then when we get there, he's like, "I remember this place!"  And was all excited as if I just brought him to the ice cream store.  SMH.  I swear my child is neurotic.  Am I the only one??

I won't even go into the fact that the dang cable box didn't work and we had to repeat the drive there (thankfully with less of a fuss but good grief!).  

So when we get home I need to get dinner started.  He wants to play Kinect but he wants me to play with him.  I will play with you when I'm done... why does that NEVER appease them?!  

I'm in the kitchen trying to get dinner put together as quickly as mommy-possible and where is my son?  Emptying out the laundry his daddy (finally!) folded onto the floor and taking the cat for a ride in the laundry basket.  Really?! Get the cat out of the basket before you hurt her.  How many times have I told you?!

Okay, cat is out of the basket.  Now he is taking his popcorn he had for lunch for a ride.  (Yeah, go ahead Perfect Mom Police, take me away for giving my son popcorn for lunch.  I seriously need a vacation.  We get sent away to, like, the Bahamas, right?  With Margaritas and Pina Coladas?  I'm so down with that!)  

Then I hear the, "Uh oh."  My shoulders slump.  I don't want to look.  His popcorn is all over the bottom of the laundry basket.  He says, "No problem!  I'll just eat it from in there!"  

SIGH.

This mommy needs a drink.  Jim Beam is calling my name.  He is jingling the ice cubes right now.  It's like the sweet sound of the doorbell ringing saying, "The babysitter is here and I'm not charging a thing!"  

Now my son is in his cozy coupe pretending he is in a parade.  He is also calling me "child."  He kills me.  He is lucky he is so.darn.cute.  I love him.  I do.  I should have named him Jim Beam, though.  I probably would've liked him more when he drove me crazy.

{This is a photo from a month ago.  But it sums up my son beautifully.}

Counting it all joy,

Angela

Making Memories

"We do not remember days; we remember moments."  

~Cesare Pavese, The Burning Brand

April 6, 2013 - My crazy 4 year old and I did the Color Me Rad 5k in Knoxville.  

It was AWESOME.

♥♥♥

"You never know when you're making a memory."

~ Rickie Lee Jones

It was a beautiful day in Knoxville so we took advantage of kids in school and an empty park.

Mommy misses the beach, the ocean, the sea. It was a great afternoon.

♥♥♥

"In the happiest of our childhood memories, our parents were happy, too." 

 ~Robert Brault

We spent the day at The Fast Track in Pigeon Forge a few weeks ago.  I'm not sure who had more fun, mommy or Lucas.  

♥♥♥

The greatest poem ever known
Is one all poets have outgrown:
The poetry, innate, untold,
Of being only four years old.
~Christopher Morley, To a Child

Fun at the Knoxville Zoo.  He pretended the bench was a train.  

His imagination makes me *SMILE*.

♥♥♥

My Little Man 

I love this little man

More than I ever imagined.

He was formed in my womb,

Knitted in love,

Gifted to me from heaven above.

And no matter how big he gets,

How strong he becomes

He’ll always be my baby,

My first-born love.

© Angela L. Fischesser

♥♥♥

Counting it all joy,

Angela

4 Years Ago...

4 years ago, at around 12 noon EST, I was sitting at my desk at home when I coughed and the strangest thing happened.  Water gushed down below.  I was like, "What the?!" It was 2 weeks before my son was due and I was oblivious.  I rushed into the bathroom and started to pray, "God, what the heck should I do?" 

See, we were living with my mother-in-law at the time and I really did not want her to 1) Know my water broke and 2) Go to the hospital with us.

So I stuffed a towel in my pants and rushed upstairs.  (Said MIL was in her room right next to the bathroom so I had to be all stealth-like... with a waddle.)

I headed into our bathroom and resumed my position on the toilet because I seemed to have more amniotic fluid than I thought possible and just kept GUSHING.  I called my Ob/Gyn - the nurses LAUGHED at me.  (Good gracious, this was my first child!) They told me my water broke (I kind of figured that out!) and that I should get to the hospital.  Then I called my husband (who asked if I had told his mother - Hello?! Uh, NO!).  Then I called my mom (sweet mom, who lives in Buffalo - almost 12 hours away). 

I was totally unprepared.  No bags were packed.  Nothing was ready.  I was so.not.ready. I managed to get stuff thrown into a bag and waddle myself downstairs.  Husband pulls in and I just head straight for the car - he heads inside.  I'm like, "Where are you going?!"  He's like, "I have to tell mom!"  Me: "Why?!"  Sigh.  I told him I did not want her coming.  No luck.  She was following in her little Matrix like dinner time at Denny's at 4pm.  Good Lawd.

After I got into my hospital room, before they allowed anyone in, the nurse (God bless this woman!) told me that if I want anyone out of the room at any time to just ask for a green popsicle.  (They don't have green popsicles, but it was code for, make everyone leave the room.)  Thankfully I didn't have to use that "code," however, my DH had to practically DRAG his mom out of the room at 8pm that night.  

See, we arrived at 3pm.  I was 3 cm dilated.  At 8pm, even with pitocin, I was only 4 cm dilated.  I was going nowhere fast.  I hadn't had an epidural yet because I *thought* I'd do it naturally but let me tell you, by 11p when I was STILL 4 cm, I was like, bring on the drugs, this lady needs some sleep!

By 8:06 am on March 20th, 2009, my precious baby boy, Lucas Takeo, entered this world.  He is turning 4.  He is my sunshine.  My joy.  My love.  My life.  And he cracks me up.

Last year we started a new tradition where we ask him 20 questions.  Here is this year's questions and answers.  He is a trip.  I am blessed beyond measure with this little man.  I love him to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond, forever and ever.

1.     What is your favorite color? Orange

2.     What is your favorite toy? Trucks

3.     What is your favorite fruit? Oranges

4.     What is your favorite tv show? Bubble Guppies, Octonauts

5.     What is favorite thing to eat for lunch? Sausages

6.     What is your favorite outfit? Soccer outfit

7.     What is your favorite game? Angry Birds

8.     What is your favorite snack? Sausages

9.     What is your favorite animal? Bulldogs

10.  What is favorite song? Rock a bye Baby

11.  What is favorite book? Little Engine That Could

12.  Who is your best friend? Will

13.  What is your favorite cereal? Mommy’s cereal

14.  What is your favorite thing to do outside? Play scooters and play basketball.

15.  What is your favorite drink? Strawberry milk

16.  What is your favorite holiday? Easter and Halloween

17.  What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Pooh Bear

18.  What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Sausages

19.  What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Gatti’s for pizza

Keep reading for the last question...

I know this is a long posting but I have to tell you a story: Just last week I told my mom I saw this great post on Pinterest.  (Here it is.)

And my first thought was, "OMG, my son will be standing there in Kindergarten and holding up his sign and it will say 'Magic Mike.'" My mom thought it was hilarious.  I was laughing but just shaking my head.  

Then he answers Question 20 like this: 

20.  What do you want to be when you grow up? “I want to shake my booty when I grow up.”

Welcome to my life.

Counting it all joy,

Angela

Have You Heard?

About PlanetBox?  

These things are AH-mazing.  I am seriously in ♥love♥ with these lunchboxes.  So in love with them that I'm willing to share the giveaway that Oh So Posh is doing.

She is giving away 3 of these beauties that I would practically kill (like a bug... a LOT of bugs) to have. So I am sending y'all her way.  So don't walk, RUN to her page and do what she says because not only is she beautiful, she's smart and amazingly talented.  And generous.  I mean, hello?!  She's giving away 3 of these rockin' lunchboxes!  

I want one for Lucas, of course, but if I had two, I'd probably make myself lunch in one of these every morning just because they are so cool.  

If you go to the PlanetBox website and click on MEALS you can view a bunch of wonderful meals that were made using the PlanetBox lunchboxes.  They are so creative!  Although, if you just follow Oh So Posh, you can see all the adorable and healthy meals she makes for her sweet daughter.  ☺

At any rate, run, don't walk over to her page and check it out.  You won't regret it.  I promise.

Counting it all joy,

Angela

Praying Over Our Children

  

Have I told you lately how much I love Pinterest?  I do.  Seriously.  

Have you noticed how much I use the word "Seriously?"  Seriously, I do.  (Thanks Meredith Grey.)

My latest Pinterest-inspired project is about praying for my child.

See here for the information that led me to do this amazing idea!

Basically (like, serious basics) is tracing your child's hand at the beginning of the year (or, in my case, NEAR the beginning of the year) and then placing a scripture you will pray over your child daily on the hand and placing it in your bible (or perhaps where you will see it daily).

The blog with the original post goes into more detail but this was the simplistic idea and I love it.  I wish I had seen it when my son was first born, as I would've started then.  I keep thinking how wonderful it would be to have a hand print of him with a yearly scripture since birth of what I have purposely prayed over him.

Anyways, I am starting now, and he only turns 4 in a month, so I'm not THAT far behind, right?  ;)  

Oh, and the scripture I chose for him is Romans 12: 9-10, which states,

"Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them.  Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other." 

I want him to have true love for everyone and to chose to do what is right.  I want him to understand what it means to honor each other not just respect them.  Yes, I can teach him these things, but I think it says a lot to pray over him the words of God.  

Won't you join me in praying over and for our children? It is so important to purposely pray for our little ones and lift them up to God daily.  This is such a tangible way of doing that.

Counting it all joy,

Angela