Since Becoming A Mom, I have learned...
1.) To Laugh More
If you don't have a sense of humor coming into motherhood, you better find one quick! Yes, children are silly but if you aren't willing to get silly with them, especially when trying to diffuse a situation, you are in for more stress. Child driving you nuts with his playful screaming & carrying on? Don't yell at him, yell with him! He'll either stop because he thinks mom has finally lost it or you will get a great giggle out of it. Child splashing like a crazy baby in the tub? Don't get aggravated, get even & join in! Frustrated that you are getting all soaked? Pshaw! Clothes dry - join in on the fun - or just jump in the tub with them!
2.) To Trust Myself
When you are pregnant, after having your child, while your child is growing up, you will constantly be getting "advice" from people you know, people you don't know, people who think they know more than you, etc. Take it all with a grain of salt. YOU know your child better than anyone else. You are the one raising that child; the one that is around that child the most. Trust your instincts, your heart. If something doesn't feel right, call your doctor, go to the ER. The internet is a vast source of information, but it is not the be-all, end-all of what is correct. Just because it is on the internet or Dr. Oz or Oprah said it was so doesn't make it right. How many times do reports come out saying one thing then 6 months later they say they were completely wrong? Trust yourself. Yes, listen to your pediatrician but also respect what your heart tells you.
3.) Mommy Friends Are A Lifeline
If you do not have a group of mommy friends - get them! Oh my goodness, I would be lost without my beautiful group of mommy friends, let me tell you! They have been a true godsend! Not only are they there for play dates with the kids, but for much needed mom's night out and to just have adult conversation with. We learn from each other, we share each other's joys and sorrows, we pray for each other, we cheer each other on, we love on each other's kids, we complain together, we laugh together - oh the laughter! I would be one seriously depressed mom if it weren't for my Mommy friends.
4.) Let Them Get Messy
Whether it's while eating, playing in the dirt, doing arts and crafts - let them get dirty. It washes out. ☺ Just remember to take lots of photos! Cherish these moments. They are precious memories and ones that your child will remember. They will remember the fun mom who let them have fun with the paint, who wasn't worried about the carpet or the furniture, who didn't stress over their clothes. Let them be kids. In this day and age, with the media wanting them to grow up so fast, don't you want them to have fond memories of being children?
5.)
Let Them Eat Hot Dogs 24/7
Seriously, if he wants hot dogs for breakfast, I give him hot dogs. My husband is so worried about him not getting enough nutrients so I bought Gummy Vitamins. But our child loves hot dogs and cucumbers. That is the staple of his diet. Don't get me wrong, he'll eat other things, but he pretty much loves hot dogs and cucumbers. He goes through phases, as I am sure all kids do. I am just grateful that he eats. There are some kids that barely eat anything. I would rather not be on that side of the equation, as, to me, that would seem more stressful as a mom. And some day I may have to deal with that, so for now, if he asks for hot dogs, give him hot dogs! It does amaze me that, at age 2 & a half, he already knows what McDonald's is, or, as he calls it, Donald's. He will devour nuggets, fries and apples from his happy meal in no time if it is from "Donald's." But if we make him the same thing, he barely touches it. SIGH. Kids.
6.)
Let Them Help
Even if it isn't "right." Whether it is folding the laundry, making cookies, dusting, pushing the cart - if their little hands want to help, let them. ☺ Some times it isn't feasible, I understand that, but when you really don't have to be anywhere at a certain time, when things aren't having to be done in a rush, let them help you. You are spending quality time with them, teaching them something new and they feel so "big" when they are with you, tagging along. Besides, chances are, they will quickly tire of what they are doing and you can get back to the task at hand and be done with it quick enough, no harm done.
7.)
To Hide
Yes, I said it. HIDE. First it was the bathroom. I'd go in there and get online on my phone just to check my email and Facebook. I needed a
break! Good golly. He was quick to figure that little trick out, though. Little fingers poking through the crevice of the door. Sweet (yet oh so annoying) voice calling, "Mommy!" My heart ached because boy did I love him but man, I just wanted to pee in peace!! SIGH. The joys of motherhood. ☺ Then I learned to hide in my room. I could hide in my closet but couldn't turn the light on - dead giveaway. (There's now a flashlight in there - hahaha!) Or I can hide just outside the closet on the floor. If you look in the room, you can't see me, but you can still hear the cries for "Mommy!" Thankfully my husband has agreed to give me one night a week of peace. Granted, I have to remind him weekly what night that is. And believe it or not, I have forgotten many times. Ah well. It still doesn't stop the calls of "Mommy!"
8.)
To let them be Fearless
Okay, this is a hard one for me as a Mom. But my child
is a boy, so for all you "coddlers" out there, forgive me. But kids will be kids and boys will surely be boys. Now I said
fearless not reckless. There is a difference. Kids are going to get hurt. And when they do, my rule of thumb is, if it's not gushing blood and he's not crying bloody murder, it's no big deal. The less you react, the less they will react. I expect bumps and bruises and to wipe away tears and plant lots of kisses on boo boos but I will not let them stop him from trying new things and enjoying life. I do not want my child to be afraid. Being terrified of something is not good. Being leery is okay but being unwilling to try something for no good valid reason is just plain silly. When you fall, get back up, dust yourself off and try again. I want him to know that that is life. Learn from your mistakes; do not let those mistakes, those pitfalls keep you down.
9.)
Make sure s/he has friends
Yes, your child, even at 5 months, needs a social life! Interaction with other children, with other adults (not related) is
so important. I cannot begin to explain to you the blessing it has been to watch my son's relationships with his friends grow and magnify before my eyes. And to watch how calm and comfortable he is with other adults. I
love it. He has already had his first "sleepover" at a friends home at 2 years old and I was so comfortable with him in the hands of my sweet friend. And he was so at ease there the whole time! Talk about a blessing! He sincerely loves his little friends and their mom's. It is the sweetest thing ever. I look forward to watching these relationships grow even more.
10.)
Don't Compare What You Have
Or don't have, with others. You know that saying, "The one who dies with the most toys, wins?" It's a load of
crap garbage. I say, "The one who dies knowing their Lord & Savior & is at peace, wins." Besides, what I learned in #9 up there? About making sure your child has friends? Another great point to that is, they can play with
their friend's toys! There's this great concept called sharing and when you have play dates and such, it gives your child a wonderful opportunity to practice. ☺ I will admit, though, this has been very difficult for me because I
do want to give my son everything. But it is so not possible. We do not have the money, even with great deals and consignment sales. Take into account the lack of space for storing all those toys and it would just be irresponsible on our part to buy him all that he (or I) wanted. And it's not like he lacks for anything. And wouldn't play dates with friends be
absolutely boring if they all had the exact same things?! Besides that, I get my best ideas for Birthday and Christmas gifts by seeing what toys he plays with when he does go visiting. ☺
So, that about sums up what I have learned in the brief time I have been a Mom. I'm sure there will be lots more to add to this as my little man gets older and I bet you have some things you have learned that you could add to this list - so please share! I'd love to hear some of YOUR "words of wisdom!"
Until then, I am...
Counting it all joy,
Angela
